I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if only i could text you this smell
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
