ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Randomize
