dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
