You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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