I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize