Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
