Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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