Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
