The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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