you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
