It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
