I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
