that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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