i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
