Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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