And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Couch. On fire.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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