sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
