So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
ttyl tear gas
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
