I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
