I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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