So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize