He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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