a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I touched a dick in church today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
