1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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