Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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