we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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