So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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