idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
