thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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