look no pants
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
