The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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