My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
