that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
