This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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