I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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