Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jerry, you need to find god
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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