...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
