why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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