I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
how does that bad decision feel?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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