youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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