i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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