if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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