Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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