I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
