i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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