apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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