Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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