I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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