$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
