In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
