did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
