Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
sex in a hospital.. check
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
