dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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