everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize