This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize