i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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