It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
