i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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