I need help removing her.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
