I'm jealous of your bromance
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
