Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize