If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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